BillyVegas.com || Edutainment. Redefined.

Look, Bush fucked shit up. 

We get it. 

No One likes him.  Anywhere.

We get it. 

But when everyone blames him for everything wrong with the country, you’re just as stupid as he is if you believe that.  There’s three branches of government that all work together, so I suggest you research how that works and start blaming all of your elected officials, even those who are still sitting in there.

But, that’s not what this is about. It’s about Obama and his speech to America and Congress tonight.

Look, this guy can talk.  For sure.  America loves this guy cause he’s literally the opposite of George Bush.  He’s a tall, black, educated Democrat.  I don’t mind him cause he seems about as genuine as a politician can be, which is minimal, but seems to resemble a human being, and can speak clearly and formulate ideas.  Apparently these are the only things that make me approve of him as a President and not mind him- that alone should be cause for concern.

But after watching this speech, this is all I can gather.

Obama:

Shit’s pretty fucked up out there.  I gave a shitload of money to banks, and I know you’re pissed- but it will help you out, trust me.  Also, since I’m in charge of America now, America wants to kick ass again… so lets try doing that. Not sure how we’re gonna do it, but check it out, I’m not George Bush, so you gotta love me.

America:

YES YES YES WE LOVE YOU

Obama:

While I have this large captive audience of lawmakers, heads of state, all the citizens of America, and the rest of the world… I’d like to tell you a little story about Little Suzy.  Little Suzy can’t see out her window at school cause there’s a train nearby.  Let me tell you about this guy, and this girl, and this person I met here- because you as an American need to feel recognized and my advisers tell me this type of dialogue helps you identify with me.  Man are you guys assholes.

So thats what I get from all this tonight.  More politicians blowing smoke up everyones ass, hitting some great points in a speech to the world, and leading people to cheer for things that sound great, but with no direction or details on how to do any of the things stated. 

Look, I understand the President has to pander to Americans who can’t comprehend anything if it’s not specifically drawn out and told to them like a Fairy Tale before bedtime about Little Suzy and her fucking problems with her desk at school and this and that.  That’s why in his first 5 minutes, he has to talk about how “American Hard Working Families” will see more money in their pockets starting this date and more this and that bla-bla-bla. I get it. 

But how about some meat for Americans who want to know what the shit you plan on doing to actually do all of this?  Tell me how you plan on making America great again, not that you think it will be great again.  Tell me how you plan on getting credit flowing to small business owners again, not that you think it’s a good idea.  Tell me how in the hell you honestly believe spending $750+bln on a “Stimulus Plan” will not put our children into debt for the rest of their lives when they inherit this mess we created.  I’m willing to listen to you.  I’ve given you my ear, and you pissed in it with a feel good speech lacking any depth and detail.

In all honesty, President Obama has the chance to make something serious happen in the next four years, and I really hope he gets shit done and doesnt get stuck in the rut of American Politics.  I wish him and his cabinet all the best.

Do I have a  better plan?  No.  I’m not smart enough to fix this shit.  I was thinking we should have let the banks crumble to the ground and rebuild America from scratch, but that would take too many years and educated people which we don’t have.  If I was President, I would have made my speech tonight very simple.  Not only would I not allow anyone to see my speech before I say it, I would have pyrotechnics installed in the chamber where the address was to take place.  Then, I would have made my way down the aisle like a proper rockstar similar to Obama, and I’d get up on stage for my second introduction, then take the mic and spit hot fire…

“Look America.  Shit’s fucked up.  I know it, you know it.  Wasn’t you, wasn’t me, wasn’t Republicans, wasn’t Democrats.  We all fucked up.  What can we do to fix it?  I have no clue, but I now have an open suggestion box and I’m listening to all of you.  In the meantime, let’s kick mortgage rates down to 4% starting tomorrow for everyone who pays their mortgage like a responsible American citizen, and lets abolish Income Tax while we’re at it.  I believe the more cash in your pocket in these trying times, the better off you are.  I figure we should tax the money you spend, not what you earn.  So yea, America.  That’s how I roll, and I’m looking forward to your suggestions.”

That being said, I’d leave the chamber as one of the most revolutionary leaders America has ever seen. 

So yea.  That’s where I am.  I’m frustrated with politics in this country leading us down roads of uselessness.  I don’t see the current system doing anything beneficial for the citizens of America anymore.  I think we should revert back to the days of John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and Washington- when people who were politicians weren’t career politicians, but workers in their own right, and were elected to office, where they had a connection to the people they are supposed to serve.

I leave you with George Carlin speaking on Education, Politicians, Tyranny, Assholes, and the American Dream.

 So, as some of you may know, I’ve been getting into homebrewing my own beer lately.  I’ve successfully cranked out a batch of Oatmeal Stout and a Fat Tire Clone, both to great success.  Not bad for a first attempt. 

Over at HomeBrewTalk.com, which is a valuable resource of all that is homebrew, one of the most active posters and moderators over there, EdWort, kindly posted his recipe for homemade Apfelwein, which appears to be a legit German apple cider… somewhere between a wine and a cider so it would seem.  This recipe was taken in by the community at HBT.com with rave reviews, people by the thousands were creating this and loving it.  The recipe was very basic, and a great excuse for me to purchase a new Better Bottle, so we see where this is going.

What follows is the recipe, courtesey of EdWort and the HomeBrewTalk.com forums.

EdWort’s Apfelwein

Recipe Type: All Grain    

Yeast: Red Star Montrachet 

Yeast Starter: Nope    

Additional Yeast or Yeast Starter: Nope    

Batch Size (Gallons): 5    

Original Gravity: 1.066    

Final Gravity: 0.998    

Boiling Time (Minutes): None    

Color: Champagne    

Primary Fermentation (# of Days & Temp): At least 6 weeks at 74 degrees    

Secondary Fermentation (# of Days & Temp): None    

Ingredients

5 Gallons 100% Apple Juice (No preservatives or additives) I use Tree Top Apple Juice
2 pounds of dextrose (corn sugar) in one pound bags
1 five gram packet of Montrachet Wine Yeast

Equipment

5 Gallon Carboy (I use a Better Bottle)
Carboy Cap or Stopper with Airlock
Funnel

1. First sanitize the carboy, airlock, funnel, stopper or carboy cap.
2. Open one gallon bottle of apple juice and pour half of it into the carboy using the funnel.
3. Open one bag of Dextrose and carefully add it to the now half full bottle of apple juice. Shake well.
4. Repeat Steps 2 and 3, then go to step 5.
5. Pour in the mixture of Apple Juice and Dextrose from both bottles into the carboy.
6. Add all but 1 quart of remaining 3 gallons of apple juice to the carboy.
7. Open the packet of Montrachet Yeast and pour it into the neck of the funnel.
8. Use the remaining quart of juice to wash down any yeast that sticks. I am able to fit all but 3 ounces of apple juice into a 5 gallon Better Bottle. You may need to be patient to let the foam die down from all shaking and pouring.
9. Put your stopper or carboy cap on with an airlock and fill the airlock with cheap vodka. No bacteria will live in vodka and if you get suckback, you just boosted the abv.

There’s no need to worry about filling up a carboy so full when you use Montrachet wine yeast. There is no Kreuzen, just a thin layer of bubbles.

Unfortunately, during my last brewing session, my scientific accomplice JoeC seemignly broke the hydrometer- which is a tool used to measure the original gravity of your fermentable mass, and ultimately your final gravity to determine you ABV.  Well, mine is broken, so I couldn’t get a OG reading on this, but since it’s a pretty straightforward procedure and recipe, I think I’ll just try EdWort on this one and let her sit til’ she looks ready- approx. 4-6 weeks.  Ideally, I’ll be bottling sometime in early April, but I just wanted to record my experience here- since it would seem I’ve misplaced my brewing journal- so this works.

Only notes to mention are that I used “Harvest Time” brand apple juice- which contains nothing but Apple Juice.  Bonus.  I had ten 1/2-gallon bottles- to which I poured the first gallon into the carboy to have a base for splashdown, and then poured half of a bottle in, dumped a bowl of dextorse into that half empty bottle, closed it up and shook and put aside.  I repeated this process until all the dextrose was gone, then shooke it all again, and dumped into the carboy.  Add yeast, then seal her up and try not to open it.

Gallery:

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Thai One On…

Sorry for the horrendous pun, but it’s fitting.  After contemplating my proteins and produce available at my disposal, it was quite obvious there’s only one way to roll for dinner tonight.  Thai, and lots of it.  After the Dumpling Trio fiasco, I’m left with:

• 2 Chicken Thighs
• Handful of 80/20 Ground Beef
• Coconut Milk
• Mushrooms
• Lemongrass
• Ginger
• Lime
• Peppers, Onions, Garlic, etc.
• Assorted Lettuce, Cabbage, Cilantro, Scallions, etc.
• Assorted Absurd Thai Sauce/Spice Collection

Here’s how it went down. 

Larb

What the shit is Larb?  Well, if you’ve been to a Thai restaurant, and you’ve perused beyond the Pad Thai and Peanut Sauce nonsense, you’ve seen this dish.  The unofficial dish of Laos is essentially a salad topped with ground beef.  But it goes beyond that, way beyond that simple description my friends.  Oh yes, it does.

I’ve never made this and, honestly, never thought I would.  I’ve had it a few times at restaurants and it was nothing special.  I figured, since I had enough ground beef to make either a hamburger for a midget, or 2 meatballs, I think I made the right decision.

So, what did I do?

• Ground Beef
• +Lime Juice
• +Fish Sauce (be gentle)
• +Red Onion

Let all this sit together marinating while you continue on to this pain in the ass step I found online.  You see, to authentically recreate this dish, the ground beef isn’t just ground beef, it has texture to it, thanks to the addition of rice.  Not just rice, cause I don’t have rice already made, and I’m not making a tablespoon of rice for this stupid dish, but TOASTED Jasmine rice.  2 tablespoons.  Toasting them until they turn brown, then bringing them to your Mortar and Pestle and grinding that shit down into a sand-like powder.  Now, I’ve never heard of this technique in ANY cusine, but on paper it sounded like it would work- but I couldn’t get over the fact that it’s UNCOOKED rice.  Even though its ground up, how can this not just crunch and be awful?  Who knows, but I’m ready to roll them dice.

So, whenever you’re ready, dump that meat into your frying pan and let it get going.  No oil, no fat adding to this… that 80/20 is going to be giving enough off to keep it poppin’.  Now, when it’s starting to look about done… I figured it was time to add the… rice powder.  Still reluctant, I figured I’d add it to the meat while I’m keeping it on heat for a miute or two more, so it can get a little cooking in it. 

 Sweet, looks like it took.  After mixing, I added some scallion, chili garlic sauce, and dark soy and mixed.  A little Cilantro and Mint at the end, and we’re game. 

Serve over a salad of green leaf lettuce, romaine, cilantro, mint, lime juice and sesame oil and you got yourself a damn tasty dish.

Chicken Chili Basil Noodles

So, this one came to me easy.  Recently, I’ve been toying with Rice Noodles in the kitchen to recreate Pad See Ew, one of my favorite Thai dishes consisting of wide rice noodles, chinese broccoli, and some form of protein.  It’s a simple dish, real simple Thai street food actually, but it’s hard to do right.  And Rice Noodles?  Forget it.  You won’t be able to find them unless you’re friends with your local Asian Food Market guy- cause they bring them in in the morning by me, and seemingly sell out quickly.  Or you can grow a set and walk into your local Thai restaurant and ask to purchase some rice noodles that aren’t prepared or cooked- essentially saying to the establishment “I do not like the way you prepare these dishes, nor do I like your shitty attempt at decor in this place.  To that I’m asking you to hand over your rice noodles to me, a non-Thai person who thinks he/she can do it better.”  Yea, I’ve done it before… and I’ll do it again if I have to. 

But we’re not making See Ew tonight. Tonight it’s leftovers that need to be cooked.

Chicken thighs remain from the dumpling factory my kitchen became yesterday.  Two of them.  And once you hack the skin and bones out, there isn’t too much meat on them.  Alas, the beauty of this dish is the chicken isn’t the star- oh no- it’s the Basil.  And Chili’s.  you sit your ass down chicken, you can shine some other time.

So, after hacking up the chicken into pieces- she needed to be marinated- and I gave it what I use on my See Ew proteins.  just a bit of dark soy, chili-garlic sauce, and light soy.  Mix and you get this.

Why the hell am I taking photos of uncooked meat and posting it on a website for people to see?  Sorry, that thought just crossed my mind. 

Anyway, I let this sit in the fridge as I prepared the rest of this stir-fry to be.  Onions, peppers, scallions, garlic, ginger, galangal, mint, cilantro, spices, sauces, etc.  We’re ready to rock. 

Heat that wok up as hot as she’ll go and let her sit.  When ready, add a bit of oil and get ready to work fast- adding garlic and red pepper flakes.  Don’t let them burn- but when they get fragrant, add the onions.  This addition of moisture should kill a bit of the heat in the pan, and should stop any burning you were likely just about to encounter.  If not, and you’re like me, you have a spray bottle of water nearby to spray your wok and not only kill some heat, but induce steaming.  Good job.

So once this shit is underway, add your peppers and mix.  Push all that shit to the side, add the chicken.  Let it sit and get a good char on it, then mix it all in.  Move the shit out of the way again, and add your noddles.  Add a mix of sauces however you’d like… I used dark soy, chili-garlic, and this DEATH HOT Thai Bird chili paste I happen to have.  Holy hell is that shit hot.  I used a little bit to get the heat up and it worked.  forget habaneros and whatever hot sauce you this is hot- real Thai chili’s are nothing to be fucked with.  Trust me.

So, this shit is about ready, and I happen to have a massive fucking package of Thai Basil- which is nothing like Italian basil.  It’s got a anise/licorice note to it, but it works well with Thai dishes.  go figure.  I added all of it, which was alot, but it wilts and adds a great flavor.

Mix in, and serve.

Coconut Mushroom Soup

• Chicken Stock
• Hunk o Ginger
• Spoonful o Galangal
• 2 Lemongrass Stalks
• 1/2 Can Coconut Milk
• Spoonful of Coconut Palm Sugar
• Portobello Mushrooms, cleaned
• Shredded Carrott (as much as you want)

Add brother, ginger, galangal, and lemongrass to a pot and let that simmer to create not only a great smell in your house, but a great soup abse for a Thai dish.  Once you feel it’s about where you want it (you know, taste it and smell it), lower heat and dump coconut milk.  Stir to combine, and simmer.  At any point add the mushrooms in here to simmer as well- the longer the better more than likely.   Carrots, I added towards the end to retain some crispness and sweetness, instead of boiling away with the rest of the goodness.  I noticed at this point the mushrooms overpowered alot of the coconut sweetness I was looking for, so I dropped in a spoon or two of some coconut palm sugar I had on hand, cause that’s how I roll.

Why the hell am I adding  mushrooms to this beautiful broth?  Well, I have them.  And, why not cut the savory with some meatiness of the portobello?  I like it, and it worked out- however, I’d probably saute them before adding, as they retained an odd texture, even after simmering away.

More Photos here for ya…

Thai One On

27 Photos

 

Well, that was my Thai mega-feast.  It came out extremely good, and I usually don’t say things like that.  the noodle dish was a bit lackluster for me, but definitely delivered on the heat and basil aspect I was shooting for.  The soup was great- the ease of the base is what makes that, the lemongrass and ginger slowly simmering, and the coconut just rounds it out.  And the Larb was hands down my favorite… great texture, great bright savory flavors.  God damn Thai food is great.  I need to go to Thailand so I can eat the real thing, not my hack interpretations of thai restaurant menus.

My routine for grocery shopping has recently been expanded to a route. Whole Foods for meats and dairy and specialty produce if necessary, Asian Food Market (its called that) for a good majority of produce and Asian type software, and the PathMark by my house for whatever I forgot making my rounds, and the rest of the produce I couldn’t get at the Asian Food Market.

Needless to say, once one shops a decent amount at this Asian Food Market (I’m going to get sick of typing that, so it is now going to be called AFM), you without fail accumulate a large selection of Asian vegetables, noodles, sauces, etc. Real deal shit too- not just some hack garbage next to the Soy Sauce in Pathmark. I got hardcore hoisin, fish sauce, fucking spring roll wrappers, Chinese broccoli, Thai rice noodles, multiple hot oils, a large variety of dried seaweeds, and a bunch of other shit I’m yet to tap into. Regardless, I went there today with a goal in mind, dumplings. Lots of them.

You see, making dumplings take a decent amount of time- and thats after you assemble your filling. If I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it. I made 3 different varieties of dumplings tonight for a multitude of uses. As I type this, the final batch is sitting in my freezer going into deep freeze for future use.

So, as I shopped around in the AFM, I was pondering what type of dumplings to make. All of the ones I’ve made in the past were eerily similar- just pork and napa cabbage with too much ginger or water chestnuts. I wanted to step it up a level. Coming across a particulally healthy batch of chives, I knew these would go will with the copious amounts of scallions and cilantro I have in my fridge form the last shopping trip here. God damn this AFM- they always make me buy too much fucking cilantro- but its so good! So, all that shit I figure would be good in a dumpling with some beef- thats right- beef. I always make pork dumplings, so sesame beef with scallions and chives sounds pretty good. We’ll see.

Next, I roll over to the intimidating butcher counter at the AFM. After scanning the goods I get meself a 1/2 pound ground pork, which form the AFM is excellent. This… pork… I’m not sure what its going to become yet, but it will be wrapped in a wonton and consumed somehow.

For the third batch, I wanted this to be somethign special. Chinese dumplings covered- I turned to my Thai cravings. Something that can be a main course, part of a soup, or anything. Of course, Red Curry Coconut Thai Dumplings. Perfect.

So, I get home, settle everything in its new home, and begin the creation process. Of course, ground chicken can’t be offered at the two stores I went to today, so I had to buy some Chicken Thighs and make it myself. Chopped up and ground via the food processor, I assemble all the ingredients to begin the creation of these fillings.

As I’m polishing all of these seperate dumplings- I determine the pork will be the leftover dumpling batch. Rememnants of the vegetation and spices that didnt make it into each bacth go with the pork. The red-headed stepchild of my dumpling children, but pork makes everything better, so cheer up fella.

So, as one is creating dumpling fillings- something I learned along the way… Make sure to cook up a little spoonful of whatever it is you’re making and taste for seasoning.

This way, you don’t look like an asshole when you make 75+ dumplings and don’t know how they taste. Spare you and your friends the insult… or don’t.

Either way, once it’s all said and done… I’ve achieved 3 seperate fillings!!

Now, the pain in the ass. Actually making dumplings. I cannot give you specific technique on how to do this, as I’ve made many batches of dumplings and can’t seem to get a good version down. As you’ll see in the pictures, I’ve used multiple types of dumpling techniques. I pursed some of them, folded some of them, some of them are obnoxiously large ravioli looking things, some look like shit, and some look like those jelly filled cookies you only see around the holidays.

Regardless, what I can tell yo about making dumplings is how I deal with them. I pretty much made up the first batch, and as I complete each individual dumpling, I roll it over on the cookie sheet full of flour, and then it sits till I finish with its friends. Then, they all go into the freezer for a deep freeze then into a bag. Flour+Freezing=No Stick. Win.

Sesame Beef Dumplings:

• .5lb. Ground Beef
• Scallion
• Chives
• Garlic/Ginger Mash
• Sesame Oil
• Soy Sauce
• Sesame Seeds

Red Curry Chicken Dumplings:

• Ground Chicken
• Red Curry Paste
• Coconut Milk
• Fish Sauce
• Lemongrass
• Galangal
• Garlic Ginger Mash
• Thai Basil
• Dark Soy Sauce

Pork Leftover Dumpling:

• See all the shit above for the other two?  Well, essentially, whatever was left is here + Pork, with some Napa Cabbage for good measure.

Not sure what this posting accomplished but documenting my process poorly and enlightening the viewing audience to nothing, but consider it the first full fledged test post testing my NextGEN Image gallery, and other goodies. 

Here’s the gallery of other images related to this dumpling fiesta.

Dumpling Trio

15 Photos

 

If you made it this far, I’m impressed.  This is a lackluster posting. Looking it over, I should do these with a little more sleep in me, or more booze.  Also the format could use a little work… I’ll try to polish it up, sorry kids.

Comment if you made it here.

• who runs out of gas on valentines day celebration night? this guy… #

Originally posted Friday, November 10, 2006 .

—–
Funk

—-
Funk.  What does the word conjure up in your mind?  Chances are, you’re wrong.  You’re likely thinking some awful form of disco, or even worse, one of your favorite bands “funky” jam, maaaan.  Well, you’re wrong.  While I appreciate some good funky jams… they are funk-y.  Not funk.

I, am a funk snob.

Let me bring you all back to a time before my time.  There was a time where music was made by musicians.  When music was an art and required talent to create.  In the mid to late 1960s in America, black people were still frowned upon, and seen as second class citizens.  Now, today, this idea (to most rational humans) seems proposterous, but, trust me my droogies, this time existed.  Just mention black people around your grandparents and the chances are they refer to them as “colored” or some other derogatory term.

I digress.

In this time period, there was an urge to escalate music beyond the aspiring rock bands of the time, and even beyond the soul and Motown sound… these pioneers, we will refer to as O.G. Funkateers, created a style of music that revolutionized a culture, and at its peak, was the modern day equivalent of whatever drivle you see on the popular music charts now.  Funk took the world by storm.  The horns, the beats, the grooves, the people, THE LIVE SHOW.

Funk music.

Funk best can be recognized by its syncopated rhythms; fatty bass lines; razor-sharp rhythm guitars; chanted or hollered vocals often relating to socio-political struggles or absolute nonsense; strong, rhythm-oriented horn sections; prominent percussion; an upbeat attitude; African tones borrowed from old Afrobeat jams; and most importantly, danceability.  Funk music made people move.  Period.  If you listen to any of the music or watch the movies I recommend as true funk, you will soon understand what I mean.

Funk music in itself, to the untrained ear, is incredibly simple; while in reality the rhythms are much more complex than your average soul jam, but the structure remains simple, butt hats just it my friends.  The simplicity is what makes it groove, don’t you understand this?  The horns, the keys, the percussion, the groove, the beat, the total package… the simplicity is so complex… its beautiful.  Listen to some raw funk and you will know what I mean.  The simplist changes in the song actually MAKES the damn song.  This sounds horrible simplified, but its true.  Some of the best musicians of our time came from this period of music, and that’s not just biased opinion, you cannot argue the following musicians aren’t amazing at their craft:

-Maceo Parker
-Fred Wesley
-James Brown
-Eddie Hazel
-Jimi Hendrix
-Earth, Wind, and Fire
-Herbie Hancock
-Isaac Hayes
-Parliament
-The Nevelles
-Kool and the Gang

Look, these are just a few… and by all means they are not the be all end all funk music… I’m just stating them so you can see what’s happening here. If you have half a clue of modern music, you will see where they get their inspirations/samples from… Funk.  Period.  Fucking funk.  And true, raw, uncut, nasty, O.G. funk is being lost.  I play some raw funk for some people and it often goes along this line…

Testing Testing 1 -2-3.  It’s on.  Good.

We’re back, and we have the combination.

After  a long departure for the world of BillyVegas.com, I’ve decided to resurrect it and bring it back as an outlet for my rantings, knowledge, constant seeking of attention, opinions, and shameless exposure for any projects I’m working on.  Stay tuned, as hopefully I plan on filling this bitch up with some hearty content for everyone to enjoy.  Music bits, food bits, nasty bits, grimey bits, etc. etc. etc..

For my first lengthy, overstated content post… I’ll be reposting a good bit on the Funk and why it needs to be kept alive.  To be coming shortly.